Best Jokes

The judge wanted to make sure the witness understood the solemnity of the occasion.

"Do you know what the word 'oath' means?" asks the judge.

"Sure do," says the witness. "Oath means if I swear to a lie, I gotta stick with it."

What is the most tired part of a car?

What else, the exhaust pipe!

When a neighbor's home was burglarized, I decided to be more safety conscious. But my measly front-door lock wasn’t going to stop anyone, so I hung this sign outside: "Nancy, don’t come in. The snake is loose. Mom."

Why are buildings called buildings? Shouldn't they be called builts?