Best Jokes

Overheard at the race track...

Bettor: “I’m betting on a horse that is 20 to 1 and I can’t lose.

Friend: “What do you mean 'you can’t lose’?”

Bettor: “I can’t lose, the horse is starting at 20 to 1 and the race doesn’t start till 1.”

Police have arrested the World Tongue-Twister Champion...

They said he'll be given a tough sentence!

Sunday School Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, I want you to memorize today's motto, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive."

Little Johnny: "Yes mam, but I know it already. My father says he has always used that as his motto in his business."

Teacher: "Oh, how noble of him! And what is his business?"

Little Johnny: "He's a boxer."

An inmate at the local detention center was sitting in his cell playing solitaire. Another inmate was watching. Finally the kibitzer spoke up, "Wait a minute. I just caught you cheating yourself."

"Shhh! Don't tell anybody but for years I've been cheating at solitaire. "

"You don't say! Did you ever catch yourself cheating,?"

"Nah, I'm too clever."