Best Jokes

The teacher asked her students, “Who can tell me what the ruler of Russia was called?”

“Czar,” the class replied in unison.

“Correct. And what was his wife called?”

“Czarina,” the class replied.

“Good! And what were his children called?”

A timid voice piped up, “Czardines?”

Lawyer: "Is it a crime to throw sodium in your enemy's eyes?"

Judge: "Yes, that's assault."

Lawyer: "I know it's a salt but is it a crime?"

A Yankee tourist in London went aboard the old battleship "Victory", which was Lord Nelson's flagship in several of his famous navel triumphs.

An English sailor escorted the Yank over the vessel, and coming to a raised brass tablet on the deck, he said, as he reverently removed his hat, "This, sir, is the spot where Lord Nelson fell."

"Oh, it is," replied the American. "Well, that ain't nothing. I nearly tripped on that darn thing myself."

Lou: Did you hear about the turtle on the New Jersey Turnpike?

Bud: What was the turtle doing on the turnpike?

Lou: About one mile an hour.