Best Jokes

”Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!”

”Keep it down, sir, or everyone will want one.”

The congregation of a small stone church decided that the stone which formed the step up to the front door had become too worn by its years of use, and would have to be replaced.

Unfortunately, there were hardly any funds available for the replacement. Then someone came up with the bright idea that the replacement could be postponed for many years by simply turning the block of stone over.

They discovered that their great-grandparents had beaten them to it.

During a recent meeting of the local Optimist Club, they challenged one another to come up with an inspirational sentence using the word countenance.

This was the winning entry: "I put a cheerful countenance on people every day."

It was submitted by our local funeral director.

Hidden Definitions...

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor-saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.