Best Jokes

$9.00 won 2 votes

A guy came home to his wife and said, "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 a.m. start, 2 p.m. finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!"

"That's great," his wife said.

"Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed. "You start Monday."

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$9.00 won 2 votes

My mother and father were driving when she was pulled over by the police. Mom was in a hurry and told the officer so.

“I understand ma’am,” he said. “But I have to ticket anyone over 55.”

Mom was beside herself. “That’s discrimination!” she shouted.

The officer explained calmly, “Ma'am, I meant the speed limit.”

2 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
2 votes

Most people hate to parallel park. The other day, I saw this woman trying to get out of a tight parking space. She'd bump the car in front, then back-up and strike the car behind her. This went on about 2 minutes.

I walked over to see if I could somehow help. My offer was declined though. She said, "Why have bumpers if you're not going to use them once in a while?"

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |
2 votes

Node: Was aware of (past tense of Know)
Outpatient: Fainted
Pap smear: Fatherhood test
Pelvis: Cousin of Elvis
Prostate: Flat on your back
Protein: Favoring young people
Rectum: Dang near killed 'em
Seizure: Roman Emperor
Serology: Study of Knighthood
Tumor: An extra pair
Urine: Opposite of "you're out"
Varicose: Located near by

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |