Best Jokes
Favorite this joke Barber, cutting a customer's hair: "Hmm, I see a few gray hairs."
Customer: "At the rate you're going, I'm not surprised."
A man said to a long-haul truck driver, "I'd love to drive a big rig," I said, "but I'd worry about falling asleep at the wheel."
"Here's a tip to stay awake," he offered. "Put a $100 bill in your left hand and hold it out the window."
Frances and her sister Penny were at a fancy party; as they passed by a group of people, they overhear them having a conversation about Mozart. "Absolutely brilliant....One of the great geniuses....A fine fellow....Very admirable."
Hoping to join in the general conversation, Penny remarked casually, "Ah yes, I very much agree about Mozart. Why, just this morning, I saw him getting on the No. 5 bus to Coney Island." There was a sudden hush and everyone looked at her. Frances leaned over and hissed in Penny's ear, "We're leaving now, get in the car."
As they began making their way home, Penny noticed her sister glowering and asked, "Say, what's the matter?"
"What's the matter? What's the matter?" Frances snapped back. "Gad, I've never been so embarrassed in my life! You just told everyone that you saw Mozart take the No. 5 bus to Coney Island when everyone knows full well that the No. 5 bus doesn't even GO to Coney Island!"
Scientific Golf facts:
New golf balls have a strong attraction to water, and the power of the attraction is directly proportionate to how much the balls cost.
With golf, the slow groups are always in front of you and the quick groups are always behind you.
Golf is the only game where the ball lies poorly, and the golfers lie well.
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