"Can I have a cigarette?" Jill asked.
"I thought you quit smoking," Mary said
"I'm in the process of quitting," Jill said. "Right now I am in the middle of phase one."
"What's phase one?" Mary asked.
"I've quit buying," Jill replied.
Why are ghosts always honest?
They have no choice, you can see right through them!
School kids were having a debate about the U.S. Presidential election.
Emma said, “We need a candidate who is willing to tax the ultra rich and give to the poor”.
Little Johnny stood up and said, “I didn’t know Robin Hood was running!”
Two vacuum cleaners are arguing...
"You suck!"
"No, you suck!"
"You suck worse!"
"I don't suck!"
"Why not?"
"I'm not plugged in!"