Best Jokes

Dear Customer Service,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

My Grandpa used to sit in a rocking chair. He had a recliner, but didn't use it because it wasn't comfortable for him.

So one night when were were over there, Dad tried putting shims under the recliner feet to change the angle, to see if that would make it better for him. While we were doing that, Grandma was rummaging around in the closet and knocked over a box of marbles.

That is forever stuck in my mind as the night Grandpa was off his rocker and Grandma lost her marbles.

When I was young, I was poor...

But after many years of hard work, I am no longer young.

I was reading an article last night about fathers and daughters and memories came flooding back of the time I took my daughter out for her first pint.

Off we went to our local pub which is only two blocks from the house.

I got her a Fosters. She didn't like it... so I had it.

Then I got her a Carling Black Label, she didn't like it... so I had it.

It was the same with the 1664 Lager and Premium Dry Cider.

By the time we got down to the Scotch I could hardly push the stroller back home.