Best Jokes

2 votes

Saw the cutest TRIPLETS in the mall last week. Each had a personalized shirt.
1st shirt said: I WAS PLANNED.
2nd one said: I WAS NOT.
3rd said: ME NEITHER!

2 votes

CATEGORY Baby Jokes
posted by "barber7796" |
$15.00 won 2 votes

Doctors were told to contribute to the construction of a new wing at the hospital. What did they do?

The allergists voted to scratch it.
The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.
The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.

The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it.
The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve.

The orthopedists issued a joint resolution.
The pediatricians said, "grow up."
The psychiatrists thought it was madness.

The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The radiologists could see right through it.
The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow.

The cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
And the plastic surgeons said, "this puts a whole new face on the matter."

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Leibel" |
$50.00 won 2 votes

I was talking with my mother-in-law about our daughter's picky eating habits.

"She refuses to eat fish," I told her. "Any recommendations for a replacement?"

She thought a moment, then answered, "Cats. They love fish."

2 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Grampy" |
2 votes

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You keep knocking on your own front door.

9. You remove your false teeth to change your appearance.

8. You ask for soft, high fiber candy only.

7. Someone drops a candy bar in your bag and you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say: "Great Boris Karloff Mask," and you're not wearing a mask.

5. The door opens, you yell "Trick or..." but you can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that doesn't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

1. You keep having to go home to use the bathroom.

2 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |