Best Jokes

She entered the office of a noted divorce lawyer. "I want to know if I have grounds for divorce? "she asked.

"Are you married?" asked the lawyer.

"Yes, I am."

"Then, "he replied, "you have ground."

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare-line.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all escape from prison. They hear the cops coming so they each climb a tree.

The cops come and shine flashlights in the trees.

They shine a light on the tree with the brunette and she goes "whoo whoo" like an owl.

They shine the light in the redhead's tree, she goes "Tweet Tweet" like a bird.

They shine the light on the blonde’s tree... "Moooooo".

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."

Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."