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Favorite this joke A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. "I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a twenty dollar bill to someone who was needy and down on his luck."
"Twenty whole dollars? That's a lot of money to just give away. What did your husband say about it?"
"Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do. He said, 'Thanks.'"
Two women were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all my boyfriend and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset I've lost 20 pounds in two weeks."
"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.
"Not yet," the first replied, "I like to lose at least another 10 to 15 pounds first."
The finalist has been named in the worldwide search for the perfect man. After careful consideration and endless debate, The Perfect Man has been named:
MR. POTATO HEAD!
- He’s tan.
- He’s cute.
- He knows the importance of accessorizing.
- And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face.
You Might Be A College Student If.....
... you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen.
... you live in a house with three couches, none of which match.
... you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.
... you have ever written a check for 45 cents.
... you get more e-mail than snail mail.
... you have ever seen two consecutive sunrises without sleeping.
... your glass set is composed of McDonald's Extra Value Meal Plastic Cups
... your underwear supply dictates the time between laundry loads.
... you average less than 3 hours of sleep a night.
... your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn't.
... you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy.
... you wake up 10 minutes before class.
... your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over.
... you get more sleep in class than in your room.
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