Best Jokes
Favorite this joke I was so unpopular at school they used to call me "Batteries"...
Because I was never included in anything.
"How's the new turkey you hired on as temp IT Assistant?"
"Well, she's good at de-bugging, and works for chickenfeed. But her typing is atrocious--all she can do is hunt & peck."
A visitor to the North Pole was given the grand tour of the place by Santa Claus.
The visitor suddenly exclaimed, "What a huge reindeer! But why doesn't it have any antlers?"
Santa replied, "Well, there are several reasons that a reindeer might not have antlers. Some reindeer get their antlers late, some reindeer have their antlers broken off in a fight and some reindeer never grow any antlers at all."
The tourist moved closer for a better look and asked, "What happened to this one?"
Santa replied, from fifty yards away, "He was born a horse."
Me: "The kids haven’t eaten their sandwiches."
Wife: "Okay, just throw them out."
[Later]
Me (helping the kids pack a suitcase): “Look, I’m just as surprised as you are.”
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