Best Jokes

What exactly is junk?

Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to wondering about things: "Mommy, why has Daddy got so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother.

"He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness.

"So why do YOU have so much hair?" Little Johnny asks.

"Go eat your breakfast!" snarled his mother.

My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.

He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband?" and she said, "I do."

Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife?" and my mom said, "He does."

There was this limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer...

All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.