Best Jokes
Favorite this joke 5. In the middle of smoking a cigarette, you pause for a "cigarette break."
4. Cracking your knuckles leaves you winded.
3. Morning schedule: Wake up, cough for three hours, take nap.
2. In your neighborhood, they give directions by saying, "Go down to the big pile of cigarette butts..."
1. You explain to the nurse that you didn't realize you were in a "non-smoking" iron lung.
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed at the next worship service, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis 3:10'.
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he soon broke out in laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.'
Genesis 3:10 reads: 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.'
My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again.
MAN, I sure am LUCKY!
I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!!!
A father was driving nails while constructing a play house for his children. The youngest boy asked if he could hammer a nail. The father granted his request and showed him how to do it.
The boy did as his father had explained and lightly tapped to set the nail before hammering it in but he struck his thumb. It wasn’t enough force to bruise or break the skin but the father also knew it couldn’t have felt good.
After a few more attempts with the exact same result the father asked his son if he could help. His son quickly answered by saying, “Yes, would you hold the nail so I can get a good swing at it?”
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