Best Jokes
Favorite this joke I must be following my diet too closely...
Because I keep gaining on it.
Sign on a rural fence...
Is there life after DEATH?
TRESPASS HERE AND FIND OUT!
Politically correct terms for cat owners:
- My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug re-decorator.
- My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job.
- My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools.
- My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity.
- My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.
- My cat is not a "shedding machine," she is a hair relocation stylist.
- My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile," she enjoys the proximity of food.
- My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to do next.
- My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative.
- My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control expert.
- My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced.
- My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced.
- My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate moisture.
- My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next destination
(which should always be the food dish).
Diner: "Did you hear about that rooster they discovered in Tibet that actually lays eggs??"
Waitress: "No way! A rooster that lays eggs up by Katmandu?"
Diner: "Yep - he now goes by the name of 'Himalayin'..."
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