Best Jokes

A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.''

The woman replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?''

The man replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.''

What is the definition of the word 'jury'?

Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.

BOSS: "What should we call this giant advertising board?"

PHIL: "A philboard!"

BILL: "No, wait... I have a better idea!"

A man told his wife that when he died, he wished to be buried with all his money. He died and was buried. The wife was asked if she indeed buried the husband with all the money.

She said she had done exactly what the husband had requested her to do. She said, “My husband had two million dollars when he died. If you dug up his body today, you would find his bones and a check for two million dollars!"