Best Jokes

I’m on a whiskey diet...

I’ve lost three days already.

A man and his wife attended a dinner party at the home of their friends. Near the end of the meal, the wife reprimanded her husband. "That's the third time you've gone for dessert," she scolded. "The hostess must think you're selfish and an absolute pig."

"I don't think so," he said. "I've been telling her it's for you."

Why do people hate getting up early in Athens?

Because Dawn is tough on Greece.

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-Morse code.