A visitor to the North Pole was given the grand tour of the place by Santa Claus.
The visitor suddenly exclaimed, "What a huge reindeer! But why doesn't it have any antlers?"
Santa replied, "Well, there are several reasons that a reindeer might not have antlers. Some reindeer get their antlers late, some reindeer have their antlers broken off in a fight and some reindeer never grow any antlers at all."
The tourist moved closer for a better look and asked, "What happened to this one?"
Santa replied, from fifty yards away, "He was born a horse."
Me: "The kids haven’t eaten their sandwiches."
Wife: "Okay, just throw them out."
[Later]
Me (helping the kids pack a suitcase): “Look, I’m just as surprised as you are.”
A sweater I bought was picking up too much static electricity.
So I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
Wife: Darling, it was such a hard day. Would you tell me the three magical words that always make me so happy?
Husband: You are right.
Wife: Very funny, no, the other ones.
Husband: I was wrong.