Best Jokes

A heavy set man went to buy a loaf of bread at the local grocery store. When he got home he saw that the bread was already sliced so the man returned to the store and demanded his money back.

“How did you know how thick I wanted my bread sliced!!!!” yelled the man to the grocery store owner.

The grocery store owner yelled back to the heavy set man, ”If I had known how big you were, I would have had them slice it even thinner!!!”

A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.

Doctor: Your tonsils have to come out.

Patient: I wanna second opinion.

Doctor: Okay, you're ugly, too.

I have found myself a new exciting hobby.
I go out in my car in the morning to the nearest Highway and sit with my window open and a hairdryer pointed out of the window.

It's amazing how all the cars slow down!

I used to think drinking was bad for me.

So I gave up thinking.