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Favorite this joke Master: That shirt looks soiled, didn't you wash it?
Servant: I did! But while i was taking it to the shop for ironing i dropped it on the ground!
Master: You will have to wash it again!
Servant: Again, Sir?
Master: I'm a stickler for cleanliness. So anything that falls on the ground has to be washed with soap and water.
Servant: I'll remember that.
The next morning...
Servant: Sir, here is your newspaper.
Master: Yes! But why is it soaking wet, You idiot?
Servant: While i was bringing it to you i dropped it on the ground.... But I remembered your instructions and washed it thoroughly with soap and water.
You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:
10. You keep knocking on your own front door.
9. You remove your false teeth to change your appearance.
8. You ask for soft, high fiber candy only.
7. Someone drops a candy bar in your bag and you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say: "Great Boris Karloff Mask," and you're not wearing a mask.
5. The door opens, you yell "Trick or..." but you can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that doesn't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You keep having to go home to use the bathroom.
How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
On a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon my buddy and I stood on the first tee of our Golf Club. He had just pulled out his driver when a young woman in a wedding dress came running up to him, crying.
She slaps him in the face, turns, and runs away.
My buddy turns to me and says calmly, "I don't know what her problem is. I distinctly told her only if it rained."
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