Best Jokes
Favorite this joke An old farmer wins the ten million dollar lottery and is being interviewed. The reporter asked what he is going to do with all the money.
"Oh, I reckon the first thing I'll do is go and pay a few bills."
"And what about the rest?" the reporter continued.
The farmer shrugs. "Well, I guess they'll just have to wait."
Three police officers were standing in line at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked the first officer, “What did you do with your life?”
“I was a police officer,” he responded.
“What kind of police officer?” Saint Peter asked.
“I was a vice officer. I kept drugs off the streets and out of the hands of kids.”
“Welcome to heaven. You may enter the gates.”
He asked the second man what he did as a police officer. “I was a traffic officer,” said the man. “I kept the roads and highways safe.”
“Welcome to heaven. You may enter the gates.”
He asked the third man what he did as a police officer. “I was a military policeman, sir,” replied the man.
“Wonderful! I’ve been waiting for you all day!” replied Saint Peter. “I need to take a break! Watch the gate, will you?”
What do you call a mean mother hen?
An egg beater.
Patient: "Doc, I am very stressed out and I am not getting proper sleep at night."
Doctor: "I am giving you some medicines and sleeping pills."
Patient: "Is this going to help?"
Doctor: "Yes, just give it to your wife before going to bed."
Free Daily Joke