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Panhandler: "Please sir, can you give me $10?"
Man: "Sorry, don't have any change. All I have is a $50 bill."
Panhandler: "No problem sir, if you donate $50 today, you can take advantage of the 10% cash back offer!"
Two pumpkins in the pumpkin patch were discussing what they wanted to be for Halloween.
One said he wanted to be a Jack-O Lantern, "... but I don't know if I can make the cut."
While on a field trip to a local petting zoo Little Johnny breathlessly rushed up to his teacher and shouted out, "Teacher, teacher, I just saw a man making a horse!"
"Oh, Johnny, are you sure?" asked the teacher.
"Of course," said Johnny, "they were tacking on his feet as I walked by!"
"Could you learn to love me?" ask the young man.
"Well," sighed the young lady. "I did learn shorthand in just three months."
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