Best Jokes

A school girl was required to write an essay of two hundred and fifty words about an automobile. She submitted the following:

"My uncle bought an automobile. He was riding in the country when it busted going up a hill. I guess this is about fifty words. The other two hundred are what my uncle said when he was walking back to town, but they are not for publication."

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family...

... in another city!

My paramedic team was called to an emergency. Before we took the patient to the hospital, I had a question for his wife. “Does your husband have any cardiac problems?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said with a note of concern. “His cardiologist just died.”

I’ve been really depressed lately. A friend told me I should go to the petting zoo perhaps, to cheer up.

I went today, but not one person would pet me.