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Favorite this joke A career Army officer I once met was jumpmaster for his unit and was taking up a few novices for a drop. The flight was pretty rough, and after a while, the jumpmaster called off the jump because of high winds. As the plane headed back to base, and the pilot pulled off an unusually smooth landing, two of the neophytes got airsick.
"How come you could take that rough flight, but you couldn't handle the smooth landing?" asked the jumpmaster.
"Well, sir," one trainee explained, "We've always jumped out of planes. We've never actually landed before."
The teacher asks Joanie, "If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter and another quarter and then another quarter, how much would you have left?"
Joanie replies, "A million dollars minus 75 cents."
I could not find a frozen chicken big enough for my family dinner. I asked the young man behind the butcher counter if these chickens got any larger?
He replied, "I'm afraid not, they are all dead."
Following my diet plan for tonight, I had a salad that had lots of croutons and tomatoes.
Actually, I only had one big round crouton, covered with tomato sauce and cheese.
Fine, maybe I had a pizza.
Ok, I confess, I ate a whole pizza!
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