A dog gave birth to puppies near the road... and was cited for littering.
At dinner with friends and family Johnny was asked to say the prayer. "But I don't know how to pray," he replied.
"Just pray for your family, friends and neighbors, the poor, etc," said his father.
"Okay," the boy said.
"Dear Lord,.. Thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won't come again. Forgive our neighbors son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on the bed. This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor ladies on my Daddy's Blackberry who do not have any clothes. And provide shelter for the homeless man who uses Mom's room when Daddy is at work....AMEN"
Dinner was cancelled.
No one knew she had a dental implant, until it came out in conversation.
Yo momma is so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!