Best Jokes

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

My buddy applied for a job as an insurance salesman. Where the form requested "prior experience" he wrote "lifeguard." That was it. Nothing else.

"We're looking for someone who can not only sell insurance, but who can sell himself as well," said the hiring manager. "How does working as a lifeguard pertain to salesmanship?"

My friend replied, "I couldn't swim."

He got the job.

While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop."

Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said, "go ahead."

"And this is my pole," he said.

My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store to hold up my shower curtain."

And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus.