First Mouse: I finally got that scientist trained.
Second Mouse: How so?
First Mouse: Every time I go through the maze and ring the bell, he gives me something to eat.
Why is 'o' the noisiest vowel?
Because all the others are in audible.
How are wives like hand grenades?
Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
When she got flowers from her husband on Valentine's Day, my daughter quickly opened the card. All it said was, "No."
What did that mean? She called her husband and asked him.
"I didn't attach any message. The florist asked if I had a message and I said, 'No'."