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Favorite this joke Turn your next trip to the grocery store into a ninja challenge...
You do that by shopping strictly out of other people's carts when they're not looking.
When my daughter was little, we took a vacation to Florida. Seated on the airplane near the wing, I pointed out to Rhonda that we were above the ocean. "Can you see the water?" I asked her.
"No," she said, peering out the window at the wing, "but I can see the diving board."
A woman walks into her psychiatrist's office and says, "Hey doc, you know how we have been talking about saying things that don't come out the way we meant them to?"
The psychiatrist replies, "You mean Freudian slips?"
"Exactly, those. Well, I had the most amazing one last night. I was eating dinner with my husband, and I meant to say, 'Honey, could you please pass the salt,' but instead I said, 'You damn fool, you ruined my life.'"
Women call me ugly occasionally, but that’s only until they hear how much money I make...
Then they say I’m poor and ugly.
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