A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it struck him that he had forgotten something. Twice he stopped, counted his parcels, searched his pockets, but finally decided he had everything with him.
Yet the feeling persisted. When he reached home his daughter ran out, stopped short, and cried, "Daddy, where's Mommy?"
Wikipedia: “I know everything.”
Google: “I have everything.”
Facebook: “I know everybody.”
Internet: “Without me you’re nothing.”
Electricity: “Keep talking losers.”
What happened when Lee ate raw onions for a week?
He became Lone Lee...
A man answered a knock on his door one morning. An electric company worker handed him a piece of paper stating that the electric company would like to run a power line through his pasture.
The man said, "No."
"Legally, that paper says we can." replied the worker.
As the worker turned and left returning to his co-workers in the field, the man went to his barn and turned his bull loose into the pasture.
As the bull rumbled toward the workers in the field, the man hollered, "Show HIM your paper!"