Best Jokes
Favorite this joke Did you hear about the new surgery kit that lets the patients sew up his own incisions?
It's called Suture Yourself.
A husband got his mother-in-law a cemetery plot for Christmas. It came with a coffin, tomb stone, the works.
Next Christmas comes by and the husband gets her nothing. The mother-in-law asks, "Why didn't you get me a gift?"
The husband says, "You haven't used the one I got you last year."
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude . . .?"
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."
- You've already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for the year.
- You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images of Elvis.
- You've figured out a way to get Gilligan off the island.
- You decide to see how many Mountain Dews you can drink before the inevitable explosion occurs.
- People come into your office only to borrow pencils from your ceiling.
- No longer content with merely photocopying your rear, you now scan and enhance it with Photoshop.
- You now require only a single can of cola to belch the names of all seven Dwarfs.
- The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry, and General White-Out has called for reinforcements.
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