What do you call a person wearing ear plugs?
Anything you want. They can't hear you.
There once was a man from Pawtucket...
Who kept all his cash in a bucket...
His daughter, named Nan...
Ran off with a man...
And as for the bucket - Nantucket!
Dear Monday,
Just saying, your friends Saturday and Sunday are just more fun.
Nothing personal.
A 4 year old boy was asked to give thanks before a big dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles.
Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited--and waited.
After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"