Best Jokes

$6.00 won 2 votes

Six-year-old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first embarrassing moment at school. Her mother, very interested, asks, "Oh, how did it go?"

"I nearly died of shame!" she answers. "Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."

Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed."

"No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$8.00 won 2 votes

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.”

The bartender hands him the drink, and says, “That’ll be five dollars,” to which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.”

A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You know, he’s got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.”

The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, “Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don’t ever let me catch you in here again.”

The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, “What the heck are you doing in here? I can’t believe you’ve got the audacity to come back!”

The guy says, “What are you talking about? I’ve never been in this place in my life!”

The bartender replies, “I’m very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double.”

To which the guy replies, “Thank you. Make it a scotch.”

2 votes

posted by "HENNE" |
2 votes

NIKE was founded by men, so its tagline says - "Just do it!"

If it had been founded by a woman, its tagline would have been...

"Just do it... if you want to... I don't want to force you... It's your life... Anyway you don't listen to me.. Do what you want to do... Who am I to say anything... But it has to happen and you have to do it!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Leogal" |
$6.00 won 2 votes

Wouldn't the world be a better place if some people used a GLUE STICK instead of LIP GLOSS?

2 votes

posted by "Eufaulasrguy" |