Best Jokes

An announcement at the local ice skating rink: "Will the lady that left 6 kids on the ice rink, please pick them up. THEY ARE MAKING OUR PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY TEAM LOOK BAD!"

Who's the Smarter Shopper?

When a man goes shopping he will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs...

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she does not need, but IT'S ON SALE!

When eating out, 3 guys will each throw in $20, even though the bill comes out to $31.20. None of them will carry anything other than a $20 bill and none will actually admit they want change back.

When 3 ladies get their bill... OUT COME THE CALCULATORS!

A group of gentlemen had been discussing, since the mid 1800's, about forming a club to address the defective LIBERTY BELL that was ordered from the Whitechapel Foundry of London in 1751. The LIBERTY BELL cracked the first time it was rung. After various attempts to repair the iconic crack, it was last rung in 1846.

The Philadelphia Procrastination Club was finally formed around 1956 with a charter to request authorization from the Whitechapel Foundry for return of the defective bell. After various drafts of this request, it was finally approved by the Philadelphia Procrastination Club membership 50 years after their formation.

The Whitechapel Foundry of London issued approval for the return of the bell with the stipulation that the bell be returned with its "ORIGINAL PACKAGING".