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Favorite this joke A fellow was going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine made a loud 'hiss-pop!' noise.
"The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explained the guide. "The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."
Later, the tour reached the part of the factory where condoms were manufactured. The machine made a noise: "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!"
"Wait a minute!" said the man taking the tour. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss' is, but what's that 'pop!' every so often?"
"Oh, it's rather like the baby-bottle nipple machine," said the guide, "but here the needle pokes a hole in every fourth condom."
"Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"
"No," the guide said, "but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
Two lawyers were walking along, negotiating a case.
"Look," said one to the other, "let's be honest with each other."
"Okay, you first," replied the other.
That was the end of the discussion.
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he whispered, "I forgot my teeth."
The man replied, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said.
The speaker tried them. "Too loose."
"I have another pair...try these."
The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."
The man was not taken aback at all. He then said, "I have one more pair of false teeth...try them." The speaker tried them and happily replied, "They fit perfectly."
With that the speaker ate his meal and gave his address. After the dinner meeting was over, he went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist."
The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."
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