There was a businesswoman who had just completed a huge development project for an obscenely rich investor. When she was leaving the investor's office he offered her diamonds, rubies and a silver-plated luxury car, but she declined.
The investor insisted, so she said that she just started to golf and maybe a set of golf clubs would be nice.
A few weeks later she received a message from him: "So far I have bought you three golf clubs. I hope you aren't disappointed that only two of them have swimming pools."
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided to become a priest when I grow up.”
“That’s okay with us,” she said, “but what made you decide that?”
“Well,” said the little boy, “I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit down and listen.”
I got a lift to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son."
"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."
He scratched his head, "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
Sometimes I like my steak under cooked...
But that's rare.