Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke Here are the reasons I'd like to thank Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, and my local grocer for having 25 checkout lanes and only three open at any given time.
- I can run next door and pick up my dry cleaning.
- I can catch up on my magazine reading without buying any.
- I can catch a quick catnap now rather than on the drive home.
- I can finally apply my top coat of nail polish with plenty of drying time.
- I can practice my standup comedy routines on unsuspecting fellow customers.
- I can assess what other people have in their carts and get exciting new dinner ideas.
- I have time to leave my cart in line and run back to get the 13 things on my list I forgot.
I just got my boyfriend a 'get better soon' card.
He isn't sick, I just think he can get better.
I just had a near-sex experience…
My whole wife flashed before my eyes.
A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away.
Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented.
He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact."
"Oh," said the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee."
Free Daily Joke