Latest Jokes

What do all the people that spell U in place of YOU do with all that spare time?

A man goes to his therapist to have a dream interpreted. He tells the doctor that he was dreaming of eating a big meal. A seven course meal. He started with the soup and was going to move onto the salad next.

As he finished his soup and put his spoon down the bowl refilled itself by magic. He again finished the soup and again the bowl refilled itself. Every time he finished the soup and tried to move onto the salad he could not. He asked his doctor what the hidden meaning was.

The doctor's reply, "It only proves that you cannot change courses in the middle of a dream."

An applicant was filling out a job application. He came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?"

He wrote, "No."

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?"

The applicant answered it anyway... "Never got caught."

Our normally sweet Great Dane has one quirk, she hates United Parcel Service drivers. While walking her one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man.

Struggling to keep hold of her, I tried to ease the situation and said, "As you can see, she just loves UPS men."

"Don't you feed her anything else?" he responded.