Latest Jokes

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into."

Now wipe that smile off your face.

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding...

Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace...

Two weeks later he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

While working at a pizza parlor, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.

He thought about it for some time then said, "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

What do you get if you cross a dog with a cheetah?

A dog that chases cars -- and catches them!


What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?

An animal that can lick you from the other side of the road!


What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a Dog!