Latest Jokes

The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.”

“Thank you very much, sir.”

A guy was meeting a friend in a bar, and as he walked in he noticed two pretty girls looking at him. He heard one girl say to the other; “Nine.” Feeling pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his buddy at the bar and told him that the girl in the corner had just rated him a nine out of ten. “Sorry to spoil your evening,” said his friend, “but when I walked in they were speaking German”

What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
“Mmmm, sandwiches!”

It was dinner time on a British Airways flight from London to New York. As the flight attendant moved down the plane, she asked one of the passengers: “Would you like dinner?” “What are my choices?” asked the passenger. “Yes or No,” replied the attendant