Latest Jokes

A man walks into his local butcher's shop and complains about the leg of lamb that he had previously bought, when I cooked it the joint had shrunk so much it went from 12 inches long to only 4-inches. The butcher said to the man that’s funny my wife knitted me a sweater and when she washed it, it was also 4-inches in length, what’s your sweater got to do with my leg of lamb asked the man, the butcher replied well they both must have come from the same sheep.

Q. Where does a cat go when he loses his tail?
A. Retail store!

A man walked into a crowded restaurant and caught the eye of a harried waiter. “ You know,” he said, “it’s been 10 years since I came in here.”
“Don’t blame me,” the waiter snapped. “I’m working as fast as I can.”

While eating in an expensive restaurant, a patron overhead the gentleman at the next table ask the waitress t pack the leftovers for their dog. It was then that his young son exclaimed loudly, “Whoopee! We’re going to get a dog.”