Latest Jokes

“Alfred, if I had 20 marbles in my right pants pocket, 20 marbles in my left pants pocket, 40 marbles in my right hip pocket, and 40 marbles in may left hip pocket, what would I have?”

“Heavy pants, sir!”

“What would you like to be when you grow up Tommy?”
“I’d like to be a teacher, sir.”
“Would you, indeed? And why would you like to be a teacher?”
“Cause I wouldn’t have to do any more learning – I’d know everything by then!”

The teacher was warning the class about the dangers of going to in cold weather insufficiently clad. “There was one a boy,” he said, “who was so eager to go out and play with his sled that he didn’t put a coat or scarf on; he caught a chill, the chill led to pneumonia and he died!”

The teacher paused to allow the moral of this story to sink in, when a small voice said, “What happened to the sled ….?”

“What did your mother do yesterday morning. Vicky?”
“She done her shopping, ma’am.”
“Done her shopping, Vicky? Where’s your grammar?”
“She done her shopping as well, ma’am.”