Q: There were two cats, one called One-two-three and one called Un-deux-trois. One day they decided to have a race across the English Channel. Which cat won???
A: One-two-three won, because the Un-deux-trois-quatre-cinq!!! (Cat-Sank, it's French!!!)
There were 2 men at a bar, the first man said to the other one, "I know a bridge where you can jump off and return safely." The other man who was shocked asked the man to show it to him. After they finished their drinks the second man asked him to demonstrate, so the first man jumped off the bridge and flew back. The second man dumbfounded decided why not give it a try. He jumped off and died. When the first man went back to the bar the bartender said, "Superman you are so cruel when you are drunk!"
One man asks another, "How old is your wife?"
"She's approaching thirty."
"But from which direction?"
"I am not at all satisfied with the evidence against you," said the magistrate to the prisoner on trial,
"so I shall find you not guilty. You are discharged."
"Oh, good," said the prisoner, "Does that mean that I can keep the money?"