There are two bats in a cave and one says to the other "I could do with some blood right now" the other said, "Me too but its almost sunrise". The first one said, "Wait here" he flies off and comes back with a mouth full of blood. The 2nd bat says, "Hey where'd ya get that blood from?" The other replies, "Ya see that tree over there?"
"Yeah"
"Well I didn't"
The 2nd bat looks puzzled and says, "What’s that got to do with blood?"
The first one rolls his eyes and flies off.
Two fleas were walking out of the cinema when they discovered it was raining hard.
"Shall we walk?" said one flea.
"No," said the other, " lets take a dog."
Two little skunks called In and Out were playing in the woods.
Out went home, and his mother said, "Where's In?, go and get him, there's a good boy."
So Out went back into the woods and returned shortly with his brother. "That's a good boy," said Mother skunk, "How did you find him so quickly?" "Easy," said the little skunk, "In stinked ...."
A man traveling at 130 mph on the interstate was stopped by highway police.
"Sorry, officer" said the driver, "was I driving too fast?"
"No, sir. You were flying too low."