Latest Jokes

A frog goes into a bank and hops up to a teller. He can see from her name plate that she is called Patricia Whack, so he says "Ms. Whack, I'd like to borrow $30,000, please."

The teller asks for his name and the frog replies that he is Kermit Jagger, son of Mick Jagger, and a personal friend of the bank manager. Unconvinced, Ms. Whack explains she will need some identity and also some security against his loan. The frog produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant and hands it to her. 

The confused teller says she will have to consult with her manager. "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger at the counter who wants to borrow $30,000," she tells her boss. "And what do you think this elephant is about?"

The manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knick-knack, Patti Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Bruno came home from school crying in hysterics. Looking at the bruises all over his face, it was apparent he got into some trouble.

"What happened to you?" his father says in a panicky manner.

"You remember the other day you told me 'Sticks and stones may break my
bones, but words will never harm me?'"

"Of course," the father replies.

"Well," Bruno says, "you were right about the sticks and stones."

Bruno came home from school crying in hysterics. Looking at the bruises all
over his face, it was apparent he got into some trouble.
"What happened to you?" his father says in a panicky manner.
"You remember the other day you told me 'Sticks and stones may break my
bones, but words will never harm me.'" "Of course," the father replies.
"Well," Bruno says, "you were right about the sticks and stones."

Q. What would happen if you have a wooden car, with wooden wheels, a wooden chair, and a wooden engine?
A. It wooden start!