Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke Teacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad's do for a living.
Little Mary says: ''My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail.”
Little Jack says: ''My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better.”
All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny.
Teacher says: ''Little Johnny, what does your Dad do?''
Little Johnny says: ''My Dad is dead.''
''I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?''
''He turned blue and fell on the carpet.''
The junior officers challenged the senior officers at an Air Force Base in North Carolina to see who would donate the most blood.
After trying several times to locate a vein in the left arm of a young first lieutenant, the medical technician applied a Band-Aid, and then inserted a needle into the right arm, drawing blood this time, and then put a Band-Aid on that arm as well.
As he left the collection facility, the lieutenant passed a colonel. Noting the two bandages, he looked at the first lieutenant and shook his head, saying, "I knew you young guys would find some way to cheat."
"Mr. Jones," began the timid looking young man, "May I... um... can I... what I mean is, will you...."
"Why yes my boy, you have my blessing," smiled the girl's father.
The young man gasped. "What's that? I have your what?" he asked.
"My blessing to marry my daughter of course," replied Jones. "That's what you mean isn't it, you want to marry her don't you?"
"Why no," said the young man. "I just wanted to know if you could lend me $50.00?"
"Certainly not!" said Jones, sharply. "Why I hardly know you!"
My landlord texted me saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Free Daily Joke