Two cats are having a swimming race. One is called “One Two Three”, the other “Un Deux Trois”.
Which cat won?
“One Two Three” because “Un Deux Trois” cat sank.
A man walks into a dentist office for his third filling that week. He goes into the examination room, sits back in the chair, and waits for the dentist to come in.
She walks through the door and before she begins, she says, "You know the drill."
No offense, but I was raised to “take care of my husband”...
Wash his clothes, clean the house, wear gloves, get rid of the body, act really sad at the funeral.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.