Latest Jokes

There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally came down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated magma cum laud from law school, are intelligent, and well spoken. It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer?"

In seconds, the senior partner chooses Paul. Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside.

"I don't understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?"

"I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Robert replies.

"Your hands? What do you mean?"

"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in either of them!"

What do you call the boss at Old McDonald's Farm?

The CIEIO!

The fisherman got such a reputation for stretching the truth that he bought a pair of scales and insisted on weighing every fish he caught, in the presence of witnesses.

One day a doctor borrowed the fisherman's scales to weigh a new born baby.

The baby weighed 40 pounds.

Moe: "Where did Larry go?"

Curly: "He’s round in front."

Moe: "I know what he looks like, I just wanted to know where he went."