Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams and Bruno Mars walk into a bar.
They didn't planet that way.
A flight instructor and a rookie pilot are flying in a small plane.
The flight instructor asks the rookie:"Have you ever flown solo?"
The rookie responds:"No, usually I fly higher than this."
A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt uneasy, not knowing about all the new technology.
A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials.
"Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said.
"So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine."
Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the gambling casino?
Because he was on a roll.