(Husband) Honey, at this year’s office Halloween party why don’t I wear a superman costume you can go as a witch?
(Wife) How clever!
(Husband) What do you mean?
(Wife) It’s a polar opposite theme right?
(Grandson) Grandpa, I have some advice for you.
(Grandfather) Son, at your age you need to be listening more than advising.
(Grandson) Okay Grandpa, just thought you might want to know your shoe is too close the campfire and it just burst into flames.
(Husband) Honey, according to my focus group men should be in control of the TV remote.
(Wife) Who’s in your focus group?
(Husband) Well, actually right now it’s a focus group of one, but I’m working on membership.
(Me) Now that I’m retired I finally have my very own 'Command Center'!
(Wife) It looks like a lazy boy recliner, a TV remote and a half eaten bag of Cheetos on an end table to me!
(Me) It’s a clandestine operation so don’t tell anyone!
(Wife) Don’t worry I won’t tell a soul! Just to clear things up though, is the arm chair law practice and the sports announcing gig a secret too?