Favorite this joke Waiter (watching a customer dusting his plate): "Pardon, Sir, but may I ask you what you’re doing?"
Customer: "Sorry, force of habit. I used to be an umpire."
Dick: Great News! Teacher said we would have a test rain or shine.
Jane: What’s so great about that?
Dick: It’s snowing.
Mother: Now, Little Johnny, eat your spinach. It’s good for growing children.
Little Johnny: Who wants to grow children?
An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for.
The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said, ''I was going to park there!''
The man was a real smart aleck and he said, ''That's what you can do when you're young and quick.”
Well this really upset the lady even more, so she got in her car and backed it up and then she stomped on the gas and plowed right into his Mercedes.
The young man ran back to his car and asked, ''What did you do that for?''
The little old lady smiled and told him, ''That's what you can do when you're old and rich!''
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